We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

ICON LIVID

by Z the Stranger

/
1.
INSTRUMENTAL
2.
You can call me Cameron Francisco. Z the Stranger more specific I'm the soundtrack of the disco I know crippling reality. You're plastic in a fish bowl. You're lazy and you're headstrong. You're trapped and talking shit all day like "In the kitchen whipping up some white rice Blizzard on my wrist, I got that ice, ice Chilling with your bitch, she looking nice, nice She wanna know a little something 'bout the night life" You'll probably want a nightlight. I'm a fright when I'm writing. I'm straight killing it. Gorgeous and villainous. Step to me I'll turn you to filament This little boy be thinking I’m on some pixie shit. Really I emasculate myself just to compensate for my bigger-wait... You look at me like I wouldn't be worth the top budget I don't need to hear shit from a bbno$ sock puppet You just can't handle the critics of what you do in public It's okay to be wrong. Don't try to change the subject. I should've seen the red flags by how you treat your mother. You don't consider how your actions could impact your brother. You always hated to have to care about any other. My constant effort to deal with it left my patience smothered. Loud sirens, give you tinnitus You can try not to give into violence Close your eyes, see sin in your eyelids We're itching for change like the climate Who do you refer to as your highness Someone you take orders from like they're Simon I can promise you they're not a Midas They're more like Medusa wished she was a tyrant I'm all about good bars and melodies Much better to stare than to step to me Your album, it's more like an effigy The shots that you fire, just lemon seeds You barely could manage a dent in me Just give up on using your weapons, please Now we're enemies, there's no friend in me But I know that you'd love me to reset the beat You can call me Digianfrancesca. Bloodline easily so special, I could leave you in a stretcher Like gestures, vespas, Roman history, it's all my heritage. I recognize my greatness, you just wallow in disparagement. Fuck you and everything you stand for. If for once you would listen, you'd understand more. So listen closely now. What'd I leave the gang for? Because fuck you and everything you stand for.
3.
Bottom Talk 04:42
Yikes. This ain’t it, chief. Friendly reminder that this isn’t a good look. Maybe don’t @!()%@&^$. Disappointing. Ash to ashes, dust to dust All I knew begun to rust What is wicked, what is just Always fucking something up The harvest moon is overcast. Autumn falls, I joke and laugh. I live the present and choke the past. It's crystal clear in photographs Everyday, I've been distraught. It seems like weakness when it's not. It's simply not what men should want. That's what I've heard said a lot. They're job's to top, to be the ones Who make pursuit and get it done. I want to have control of life But that's not what a bottom does. I feel like I'm not entirely in control, but I feel like that's the way that I was supposed to be, you know, I- THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK I've tried to be more assertive and try to take more control but, I don't know, it's not something that I've found- THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK ...that everything that, that all the emotions that I wasn't feeling for all that time are now coming all at me all at once. And now I'm trying to figure that out, cycle through that. And now...now I'm struggling with my identity. I'm trying to balance all this out. I'm trying to make sense of all this. I'm doing the best that I can. Suave from the neck up. Getting physical. Running my check up. Just know I will never slow down or give up even when I'm headlining Coachella. You do your shit while I do it better. When I make these bills, I can pay these bills. I can pay big pharma to shape these thrills. Fuck that. I would never want to waste these pills trying to make me killed. I'm a big red flower. The blue jay's cadaver ain't close to me. I don't even need to cry power. Not drowning. I can still breathe. The beast that I cower from Has not shown it's teeth for a few hours now. I feel safe enough to bring the tower down. Now I hope I haven't been counted out. Let me give a shout out to the people in the crowd feeling down now. Just know I understand how you feel When you beg and you borrow and you steal For everything that you know is real And those who say that it isn't, What are you, truscum? What are you, batshit? Understand now, or put yourself in a trash bin. I just hit a hat trick. First three tracks hit. Money in the mattress Stash for the addicts. I want to take the bad shit, Leave it on Atlas. If only it were easy, make it vanish like magic. No need to ever stop until we're all living lavish No need for introduction. I've already been established. I'd never be pretending but I could be an actress. Take a look outside to the vastness Of every single fucking identity being valid. I've always had this thing about...I always try to text first, you know. It would be, I, I would love if someone were to text me first, I would- THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK I've trained myself to think so rationally for so long, I feel like I'm supposed to be guiding myself by at least some emotion, but- THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK THAT'S BOTTOM TALK Maybe I'm a woman. Maybe I'm confused. Maybe I'm an NB. Yeah that's probably true. Still I can't confirm it. Still I can't deny it. Maybe none of it matters. I'm still this body's pilot.
4.
1, 2, 3, do it. My sadness is the sexiest. Welcome me to bed so I can muster up what's left of it. Pretending to be masculine has turned me to a pessimist. I always act so feminine. How much of me is estrogen? Catch me with the red lipstick. Not cis enough to be cis. Not trans enough to be trans. I'm not valid, I don't think. Where my mentality stands Is fixed upon what I have when I try to be what I can't. I'm past the point of a boy, but I'm not sure I'm a man. How can I make you understand that I’m beautiful? I realize I redefine what’s the usual. Give me the red lipstick. I’ll show you I’m beautiful. 1, 2, 3, do it. Give me the yellow lipstick so I can highlight my words. I've given therapy a try, but they just lie to me further. What if I shouldn't be comfortable? What if it's wrong for a reason? But then, I'd never been the one to care for how I'm perceived. Fuck it, it's happening. Maybe I'd be happier if my self expression was accurate. Miss me with the sappy shit. I won't let Unilad get it. They'd profit if you laugh at it. I've found what makes me confident. I understand who I am, but still don't understand the cost of it. My endless admiration for the girl in the green lipstick Making distance as a form of resistance. I describe you with a lot of religious iconography for an agnostic. I've been partly supportive. Partly obnoxious. The process started early. My hair's been curly and long since elementary. Used to be scared of the label of "girly". Now it's how I recognize that I'm worthy. I Wouldn't make it in the clergy, so I'm gone. Now don't disturb me. How can I make you understand that I’m beautiful? I realize I redefine what’s the usual. Give me the red lipstick. I’ll show you I’m beautiful.
5.
Pause 03:28
Got the sickest flows Got you ill, it shows. Get that vegetable. Hot box like the kitchen stove. I’m popping digital. Still cop the physical. I’m looking kitsch and gorgeous. No need for riches, no. The kiss of death is tempting when he’s under mistletoe. Remember everything special that’s what you’re living for. I’m an icon livid at the world I’m living in. Politics are run with the mind of a 1950's kid. No matter what, change is inevitable. We be cheffing it where the kitchen is. Delusions aren’t solutions. The conclusion is we’re fixing shit. I’m not talking slower so listen faster. I’m after the next one up the ladder and the latter and the latter after that. We never mattered to the fatter cats. They're mad as a hatter if they imagine us unwilling to take everything back. Imagine pleasant nonsense. Imagine needing emotional support when others are conscious And not late into the darkness. Imagine trying to turn a profit off your feeling toxic like it's not sick. Imagine not getting nauseous at the thought of it. I promised myself that I'd never suck upon a glass breast. In just a year, I'll put that promise through a crash test. Dummy stays intact, dummy never takes a sip. Dummy breaks, dummy heals drinking it's weight in gin. Muug yd sa. Dra uha ajybunydehk. Ajahdiymmo so paehk femm hud aqecd. I wouldn't be sane without a distraction. It feels like reality itself is an abstraction. Unnatural bad habits unmatched by the sad fact That tragedy has to happen regardless of past actions. I live by writing passages about the madness. I practice, hoping I'm past it. My only journey: to last.
6.
Femboy 03:57
Kill it little femboy kill it Got the makeup on, looking real vicious Trying so hard to get what you're wishing Maybe one day you could blend in with the women For now, kill it little femboy kill it Kill it little femboy kill it Kill it little sissy boy kill it Kill it 'til you've made it to your limit Music’s dead ‘cause I’m killing it. Cute boy, long hair. Let me flip this shit. Scoping out mains like the dixie chick. No sides. Steal that, call it hit and lick. No time for a rapper on some bitchy shit, so fuck Tom Macdonald, fuck Eminem. Making hits complaining about your privilege. My spirit’s hellbent but it’s heaven sent. You’re not special for spitting it fast like a chopper. I’ll use that to peel your head back like a drop top Bitch. At my worst, I’m still top 3. Bitch, at my best, you couldn’t top me. Anyone else willing to give in to vicious feelings, you're destined to win, it's Darwinism. Fall in charity, but rise in narcissism. People dying flying. Take your carpet with you. It’s over, chucklefucks. I could make a million off an album that fucking sucks. I could make the same selling some good shit for a couple bucks. Wanna run amuck? I’ll teach you what a hundred does. A clip so big that you can’t see the sun. You muscle in on the convo and yet you speak in tongues. Try to make some sense before you try to beef with us. I’m too much for a team of 3 ‘cause you see Z’s the one. I’ll be hitting you with sticks like you beat on drums. You smell like capitalism. You got that Elon Musk. Put the money down. I’m like Charli with the lipgloss. You don’t want to get did in by a femboy, get lost. I could try to restrict your air supply like you’re getting lost in love But it never seems to be as effective as a big-fuck-off gun. I’m a perfectionist who doesn’t know what perfection is Until my next album drops. You have time. Don’t be so sensitive. Kill it little femboy kill it Got the makeup on, looking real vicious Trying so hard to get what you're wishing Maybe one day you could blend in with the women For now, kill it little femboy kill it Kill it little femboy kill it Kill it little sissy boy kill it Kill it 'til you've made it to your limit Sucking Ls, blowing Os. I’ve never had a loss it seems. I got the W like Tyler’s line graph of album quality In 2017. I still have lows but not as often, see. I want to stop this dream. I’m calling “scene”. Bitch get off of me. Diavolo skipping time. Crimson eyes on the Plymouth side. In a prison of my mind. Not sure if these faces are real. I know that some of them are. I know that some of them aren’t. But I’m not sure I’m awake. This isn’t how I should feel. I should be partying and laughing. Not thinking existential batshit. I didn’t know this would happen. I want to cash in all the bad shit And be left with the passion for art and magic.
7.
Money 03:09
If you don't have money, come and get it with me. Don't act like you be getting hunnids, we got Benjamin's key. Hit the spark and light it up, you better check your history. Show it off and make a move on, hit the flex and mystery. Stuck where it sounds like a tribute to Mavis and Vince. Retail's a bitch, but it's paper to clinch and payment is critical for them savings, kid. So you better get slaving away for the corporation. You know that it's worth the wait and the strain, just gotta have patience. You come home, give a few bucks to the ones you love most. For them you've struggled. It's all you can do to not be alone. Just shrug it off. If it's all you're worth than it's all you're worth. It's all your worth that's netted to benefit everyone earning off your work. You're learning. You're getting the lesson. To get their attention, you ready the leather And spend it on Whatever anyone's eyeing. "Don't do it." They're lying. They know that you're buying. They know that you want them to love you. They know they can make you give anything unto them. Everyone knows it, so why not embrace it? Become a sugar daddy. Baby let's face it. You're basically wasting away, but the bait you display will make everyone stay. No more loss, no more hate. It's not up for debate. Money's your character when you have nothing to say. You're just as empty to them without it as you feel. As long as you got the paper, your pain is concealed. If you don't have money, come and get it with me. Don't act like you be getting hunnids, we got Benjamin's key. Hit the spark and light it up, you better check your history. Show it off and make a move on, hit the flex and mystery. I get off to being unnecessary. I could try to leave, but they'd never let me. This is what I want. If my devils get me Let me kill them off, make it very messy. If I ever stop with this bread I'm getting, I could lose it all. No expecting help. I would have to find a gun and dead myself I'll guess my sentence. I'll be sent to hell. "You're canceled. You're a human error." I can hear it ringing. It's inducing terror. I could do it quick or I could do it better. Follow with the act when I say "I got a letter." Who do I have who would want to wait for me? They always act as if there was a way for me To get away from this and find a safer place. I never could. I'm running out of ways to be The maître d' of all this pain. You say to me "Maybe you just need to change the way you seek Validation. Look away from us. Learning self love is the most advantageous." That's what I've been trying and it never worked out So I put my self worth with my net worth. I'm checking the account For a purpose. I give it all away to feel perfect Just for a second, then it worsens. "Money can't buy happiness" said someone who never needed it. The two become synonymous to anyone trying to feed a kid. We're trapped in this economy. We don't really know what freedom is. Distribute what my life was worth. I hope it's enough to appease. I'm leaving.
8.
INSTRUMENTAL
9.
Echo Chamber 02:44
All of these words in my head, but I’ve got nothing to say And it’s been just like this almost every single day. I get lost in my head. When I start to go astray, Please come and save me, baby. Been awake tonight too long. I always say there’s nothing wrong. I’ll keep my head up and be strong. I’ve been walking the distance. 20 years have passed and now I don’t need no assistance. It won’t make a difference. Dear friends: can’t show them my weakness. No one wants to hear your soul Maybe you'd be better off alone Until your heart's replaced with stone Don't think it's any different with the evidence that's shown All of these words in my head but I've got nothing to say And it's been just like this almost every single day I get lost in my head when I start to go astray Please come and save me baby Would you let me out of this echo chamber Only ever feel like I've been in danger I'm past redemption, couldn't get a savior I could tell myself that it was never major Any other method would be a better favor It's a rough draft, see the yellow paper Just thought service, all I ever savor Thought isolation was a clever chaser. I'll trade it in for a better one. Be a second daughter, not a seventh son. Maybe then, I'll feel like I make sense for once. Maybe that's enough. Shit's getting done. Maybe it's best for us To leave the past behind, see what's next for us. No one wants to hear your soul Maybe you'd be better off alone Until your heart's replaced with stone Don't think it's any different with the evidence that's shown All of these words in my head but I've got nothing to say And it's been just like this almost every single day I get lost in my head when I start to go astray Please come and save me baby
10.
I'm avoiding medication without thinking ‘bout the consequences. Go to work and go to sleep. I’m never feeling conscious But I’ve never had a problem. Always smiling for all consensus. Hidden. Always anxious about understanding what “depressed” is. I’m still alive so I’m fine. I’m not a chronic disaster. I’m just a guy in some trying times. It’s not a crime to die at the speed of light in a time lapse. Slow it down. I’m in the process now, just letting time pass. Back in the ether like I never left. Took my new anchor with me, bound with a leather belt. Been in my mental like brain surgery. It’s something I’ll never escape even if the fame purges me. What do you know about the culture? What it is or what it’s meant to be? It was said depressing teens were never welcome in the nest of Gs. Earl wouldn’t make it early on. Neither would X or Peep. Now they’re the soundtrack of the nation. Maybe they can rest in peace. I'm good at sex and I have money. That's not a flex 'cause that's all I got. Think I'm doing well when I'm often not. Try patching this. I'm turning on and off. I could probably rock a spot while dodging conscious thoughts, but not for long before I fall again. After shows, I'm going home alone and broke. My broken hope is showing when I stop and tend to recollect and start reflecting on impacting a crowd. I've revealed more to them than I would otherwise be letting out. The ether is something I'd never be talking about without a therapist around, But give me a beat and I'm willing to scream it aloud. A new type of healing is found. Self love is an etude. I wish I could, but I can't save you. All I can do is remain faithful. Never let thoughts in a train take you away. Rails looking weak. Tunnel looking grey. Coal's running low. Consciousness astray. You let it go, thinking it'll be okay, Not expecting anyone to pull the brake. It's almost as if I have no emotions, but I know I do. I'm running in guns blazing, knowing I'm not bulletproof. It can be difficult to trust and be just as honest. I find myself thrust upon it. The mask is falling off! Oh, so we're going to see the real you? The one you were hiding from us this entire time? Oh well isn't that something. Alright, well now you're going to be truly honest, spill your thoughts. You have the stage. I was born dead. Baby with a bullet in the head. A knife in the chest. I can't remember the last time I was comfortable. Still I feel well enough not to crumble, though. Fuck that. take a look at the image against it's juxtaposed. The image of me in a casket disturbs me, I don't want to think that way I still have another year to wait before I can drink it away. If I end it now, the guilt would be endless. It's something I couldn't escape Like James Sunderland in Egypt. Get your pyramid scheme out my face. I don't need that. Fuck a glee track. I'm bringing Z back. The same Z that made genius raps about history at just 16. Don't bring your dirt. This is pristine. Y'all Lowes paint. This is Sistine. No average bars, but this shit's mean. You can stay out of the way of this dream. I was budding way back when I was 5'9". Swing the bat like Ortiz, leave you with a crooked eye. Welcome to the slaughter house. Rapture under the icons. Enter if you've lost yourself.
11.
Red Lipstick 02:28
I hate to watch my mother while she's walking with a cane. Her and Dad are all I'm living for. I know that it's insane. I know that she'd be sympathetic, but I hope he never finds out Why I have the Sally's bag and how I feel my gender right now. So let me pipe down and write out everything I keep inside Just so I can record it later. Now I have nothing to hide. You've seen me flaunting the red lipstick, Chained to it, saying "yes mistress" Witnessed how I'm a mess and watched me struggle through the restlessness Lips red as roses Golden glitter on my eyelids Hold me up Let me live life how I wish I did. I'm sick of going numb I relinquish who I was, all those years, growing up As a monster. I've been left confused and scared to open up.
12.
Lost in my mind, in your bed way past noon. Last night stand. Gotta work, gotta dash soon. Your parents made me a beautiful dinner and then I took nudes in your bathroom Call me, I want to ignore it but you know that I'll be back soon You know that I don't want to worry you I've been going through waves of dysphoria Your door is like Soria Moria Move from the east just to move closer toward you I wish I could be closer for you The feeling you give me's euphoria I want to believe that I'm valid so why do I think that it's horrible Maybe it's the aggression Maybe it's my depression Maybe it's what conveniently slips my mind at confession Maybe I'm moving forward but guided by misdirection Maybe I've lost connection with all I deem worth a mention Anytime I'm addressing What forces lighten the tension The kiss of death seems so tempting (Greet it with a soft tongue) I know that this album could make me a target Still I want nothing more than to take part in it. So much happens at the heart of it Now that I look like a caveman and feel like the opposite It's time. Right now, this is your opportunity. Just like every fucking time before. Now's the time. KISS DEATH WITH A SOFT TONGUE. JUST ACCEPT YOUR FATE. If we could be honest for honesty's sake Without the fear and anxiety of being hated We could rule the world Break your facade, take off your mask Bask in the light, I promise it'll be alright I'll hold you in my arms and accept you for who you are
13.
2020 has just been the worst. So much absolutely terrible shit has happened in like...in like the first half of this year. The first half of this turn of the decade. And people are still dying over bullshit. There's just so much going on. It's the climate change. The World War 3. The bigotry. The hopelessness. The world is fucked. The revolution's coming. I just know it is. For every battle won, another's starting. It's an ouroboros. All we try to do is figure it out. The endless cycle has us deep in it's mouth. I understand the shit you speak about. I know I can't relate, but I can empathize With the ones who always feel unsafe in public just because of the way they identify. If there's anything at all that I can do to break the stigma now, well shit I'm gonna try. I don't want to have to lose another guy, and I sympathize knowing that others died. When I shout your name, it's a rallying cry. If it's change we want, then it's change we can make. If the next generation makes the same mistakes, we'll fall further down a rabbit hole of anger and hate. This storm outside has a silver lining. When our family names make us feel divided Sure it's bottom talk, but know it's alright If you have to pause after a long night We're all masc girls and femboys We all need money, we get employed It's been a cursed month in the echo chamber. It's impossible to block all the noise When you're spilling thoughts. You wish to be fine As another layer of red lipstick dries We won't greet death with a soft tongue. We're adamant to survive So shout to Laura, Shout to SOPHIE, Shout to Dorian, Kim Petras ContraPoints and Left at London. Everyone who sends that message. I can march beside you now. My masculinity's a vestige. I want to give you what you gave to me; a sense of respite. I'll take part in the charities, the protests and the strikes The battle isn't over. All I want is what is right. Shout out to everyone in the community. All of us here share a likeness. Most of all, shout out to Skylar. It's hard. I want to help fight this.
14.
We've all been bruised and battered Wondering what comes after We can't just fight for ourselves We're all just conscious matter (What matters is the battle. What matters is the will to fight instead of moving backwards. What matters are the rights of the people who aren't ourselves. The ones who try to live but only end up bruised and battered. I wonder what comes after.) All of us just conscious matter As of writing this, I'm only months short of twenty years old. What a time to think about mortality. The fragile wall between everlasting nirvana and the illnesses I'm battling. For years I've survived all my trials with ideation. Plan Z always made it all seem worth the frustration, But if I thought about the reality of the consequence I'd panic and distract myself binging more Zero Punctuation. Maybe it's not what I want; the repercussions prolific Of going from a depressed moron to a statistic, But depression can't be seen. It's like addiction or Fibro Myalgia. I've witnessed all three present in a nicotine cloud of nostalgia. For now, I'll just keep making albums 'til the day it happens. Maybe make some beats for my kids just in case they start rapping. Make them feel ten feet taller from six feet under. For all the 26 sextillion conscious cells in the world, I still wonder What matters. What matters is the battle. What matters is the will to fight instead of moving backwards. What matters are the rights of the people who aren't ourselves. The ones who try to live but only end up bruised and battered. I wonder what comes after. I pray that it's acceptance. Yeah, real acceptance Where everyone's accepted. I'll do what I can to make that the course that we're headed. Even if it means taking life in a new direction. Right around this time is when I'd be dying. Breaking under all that I've tried. Never have I lived to see the end of the ride. I can't fight if I die, now could I? For everyone and everything I love I will survive. We're all just conscious matter. Every person, young and old, rich or poor, In the binary or not, we deserve the world and more. If you're livid, stand up. You can make your voice heard, But we are all unique icons. We're more than just our words. We've all been bruised and battered Wondering what comes after We can't just fight for ourselves We're all just conscious matter What matters is the battle. What matters is the will to fight instead of moving backwards. What matters are the rights of the people who aren't ourselves. The ones who try to live but only end up bruised and battered. I wonder what comes after. I pray that it's acceptance. Yeah, real acceptance Where everyone's accepted. I'll do what I can to make that the course that we're headed. Even if it means taking life in a new direction. Right around this time is when I'd be dying. Breaking under all that I've tried. Never have I lived to see the end of the ride. I can't fight if I die, now could I? For everyone and everything I love I will survive. We're all just conscious matter. Every person, young and old, rich or poor, In the binary or not, we deserve the world and more. If you're livid, stand up. You can make your voice heard, But we are all unique icons. We're more than just our words.

credits

released June 15, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Z the Stranger Rockland, Massachusetts

Allow for all to breathe air as clean as Eden. I will drown in the River Styx and keep the planet eternal, along with all the love in it. Your own beauty is yours and no one else's. I will inject the earth with the divine milk of a ghost's breast and the living will never go thirsty. I still remain a stranger to everyone. ... more

contact / help

Contact Z the Stranger

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Z the Stranger, you may also like: