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Bottom Talk

from ICON LIVID by Z the Stranger

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bottom time B)

lyrics

Yikes. This ain’t it, chief. Friendly reminder that this isn’t a good look. Maybe don’t @!()%@&^$. Disappointing.

Ash to ashes, dust to dust
All I knew begun to rust
What is wicked, what is just
Always fucking something up
The harvest moon is overcast.
Autumn falls, I joke and laugh.
I live the present and choke the past.
It's crystal clear in photographs
Everyday, I've been distraught.
It seems like weakness when it's not.
It's simply not what men should want.
That's what I've heard said a lot.
They're job's to top, to be the ones
Who make pursuit and get it done.
I want to have control of life
But that's not what a bottom does.

I feel like I'm not entirely in control, but I feel like that's the way that I was supposed to be, you know, I-
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
I've tried to be more assertive and try to take more control but, I don't know, it's not something that I've found-
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK

...that everything that, that all the emotions that I wasn't feeling for all that time are now coming all at me all at once. And now I'm trying to figure that out, cycle through that. And now...now I'm struggling with my identity. I'm trying to balance all this out. I'm trying to make sense of all this. I'm doing the best that I can.

Suave from the neck up.
Getting physical. Running my check up.
Just know I will never slow down or give up even when I'm headlining Coachella.
You do your shit while I do it better.
When I make these bills, I can pay these bills.
I can pay big pharma to shape these thrills.
Fuck that. I would never want to waste these pills trying to make me killed.
I'm a big red flower.
The blue jay's cadaver ain't close to me.
I don't even need to cry power.
Not drowning. I can still breathe.
The beast that I cower from
Has not shown it's teeth for a few hours now.
I feel safe enough to bring the tower down.
Now I hope I haven't been counted out.
Let me give a shout out to the people in the crowd feeling down now.
Just know I understand how you feel
When you beg and you borrow and you steal
For everything that you know is real
And those who say that it isn't,
What are you, truscum? What are you, batshit?
Understand now, or put yourself in a trash bin.
I just hit a hat trick. First three tracks hit.
Money in the mattress
Stash for the addicts.
I want to take the bad shit,
Leave it on Atlas.
If only it were easy, make it vanish like magic.
No need to ever stop until we're all living lavish
No need for introduction. I've already been established.
I'd never be pretending but I could be an actress.
Take a look outside to the vastness
Of every single fucking identity being valid.

I've always had this thing about...I always try to text first, you know. It would be, I, I would love if someone were to text me first, I would-
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
I've trained myself to think so rationally for so long, I feel like I'm supposed to be guiding myself by at least some emotion, but-
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK
THAT'S BOTTOM TALK

Maybe I'm a woman.
Maybe I'm confused.
Maybe I'm an NB.
Yeah that's probably true.
Still I can't confirm it.
Still I can't deny it.
Maybe none of it matters.
I'm still this body's pilot.

credits

from ICON LIVID, released June 15, 2020
Production, writing, and vocals: Cameron Francisco

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Z the Stranger Rockland, Massachusetts

Allow for all to breathe air as clean as Eden. I will drown in the River Styx and keep the planet eternal, along with all the love in it. Your own beauty is yours and no one else's. I will inject the earth with the divine milk of a ghost's breast and the living will never go thirsty. I still remain a stranger to everyone. ... more

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