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Don't Cry Now That I'm Gone

from The Anchor by Z the Stranger

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My last breath will smell of blood and hopelessness.
I am astranged to the realm of physicality.
My empty body is incapable of recognizing my desertion.
My animalistic actions have alienated all attraction.
If anyone has not been familiarized with my own disparagement, seek your own joy.
Don't cry now that I'm gone.

lyrics

For so long you’ve talked to me
To the point that we’d started a streak
But as I can see, the little number on the screen
Has gone away now that I am deceased.

I never participated in underage drinking.
I never lived my life to the fullest that I could,
So on your way home from your night at the bar,
Place a flask at my grave and I’ll drink it all.
I never went to CVS
For more than a prescription, what went on in my head
Was that cough syrup’s for coughing.
Now that this coffin’s in my way
Leave a Sprite can at my grave and I’ll try it someday.
I never let myself get too high.
The people around me gave so much just to fly.
I stayed grounded in my world, now that I’m one with the Earth,
Plant cannabis at my grave and I’ll give it a try.
To the people I had known very well,
I’m happy you’re not grieving. Your pain to me would hurt like hell
Even when I’m in the heavens, so I want you not to cry
For at last, I feel alive.

Who is it you’re talking to now?
Does he think you’re an angel? Do you feel in the clouds
Where I rest my head? I’ve laid out my bed
Where he lifts you while I’m in the ground.

I’ve always felt
The world would be better off without me
So I never tried to call for help.
I made it to a stage gimmick. They would watch me off myself
And applaud. I lived in the shadow of something
Back when I was just a stranger and wondering
“Why is my effort amounting to nothing?”
I broke out from that and went chasing my one dream.
I just wanted to love who I am.
I was trying and couldn’t understand
Why people were wasting their time
Keeping my state of mind peaceful with validation.
It was kind, but I couldn’t help but feel lied to.
Wanted to perfect my music and fine tune.
I sharpened my vision and tried to find you.
Only to me, you would hide truth
Don’t act like you’re not fine without me.
I used to hide from the doubting.
Now, I’m in the ground. I feel better. You better have found
What I wanted for you for so long. Just be happy.
Don’t pretend you need me for that, please.
I know when I was at my worst, you had me.
You don’t need to worry ‘bout that anymore.
I release you from all of the pain you put past me.
I remember standing idle with no orders.
Nervousness, feeling worthless next to coworkers.
At any point, I had never been so vocal
Until now, when it’s too late to be told no.
This is for your best interests and mine as well.
I’d hide in the Veldt ‘til I died. I’ll survive in Hell.
I already have once.
Just be happy. I can rest in the past.

Don’t cry now that I’m gone.
I’ve made my decision to do you no harm.
No need for a eulogy. Just spread my love to the world.
If I can, I’ll be there all along.

credits

from The Anchor, released May 12, 2018

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Z the Stranger Rockland, Massachusetts

Allow for all to breathe air as clean as Eden. I will drown in the River Styx and keep the planet eternal, along with all the love in it. Your own beauty is yours and no one else's. I will inject the earth with the divine milk of a ghost's breast and the living will never go thirsty. I still remain a stranger to everyone. ... more

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